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WRITING TASK 2 - IELTS

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onebew1234

New member
Jan 18, 2021
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Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?
Ecosystem nowadays is gradually unbalanced by the impact leading to the extinction of creatures and loss of bio-diversity of humans. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem.

There are a number of reasons for the decrease of biodiversity. The first reason is that most are the major food of humans. On a daily basic, people all over the world consume a great amount of food (fish, meat, etc) which is necessary for the physical developing, and therefore, the reproduce of animals could not meet the need of humans, which make them disappear quickly. Another reason is overexploitation. Because of the current benefits, many people kill rare and valuable animals to get skin, hair, horn, and besides, not only animals but also plants are also exploited to decorate their houses, create herbals.

There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above. Firstly, the government should encourage citizens as well as give an large funding to develop the disciplines of agriculture and fishery, this might help them expand the range of their farms and fulfil a number of requirements of food. The second one is that authorized organization should release a prohibition of exploiting animals and plants if no permission, this could significantly limit the problem of hunting and overuse, steadily make the ecosystem balance again.

In conclusion, there are many factors leading to the effects of human beings on ecosystems all over the world, and measures can be implemented to tackle this issue.
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
255
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The ecosystem nowadays is gradually becoming unbalanced by the impact (the impact of what?) leading to the extinction of creatures and loss of bio-diversity of humans. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem.

There are a number of reasons for the decrease of in biodiversity. The first reason is that most are the major food of humans (not sure exactly what you want to say here). On a daily basic, people all over the world consume a great amount of food (fish, meat, etc) which is necessary for the physical development, and therefore, the reproduction of animals could not meet the need of humans, which makes them disappear quickly. Another reason is overexploitation. Because of the current benefits, many people kill rare and valuable animals to get the skin, hair, horn, and besides, not only animals but also plants are also exploited to decorate their houses, create herbals (?).

There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above. Firstly, the government should encourage citizens as well as give a large amount of funding to develop the disciplines of agriculture and fishery, this might help them expand the range of their farms and fulfil a number of requirements of food. The second one is that authorized organizations should release a prohibition of exploiting animals and plants if no permission, this could significantly limit the problem of hunting and overuse, steadily make the ecosystem balanced again.

In conclusion, there are many factors leading to the effects of human beings on ecosystems all over the world, and measures can be implemented to tackle this issue.

Feedback

Firstly, welcome to the forum. I hope it is useful for you.

I think you need to pay attention first to the meaning of biodiversity: diversity among and within plant and animal species in an environment.

Personally, I would say the loss and destruction of forests and jungles is the main reason for animals becoming extinct and loss of diversity.

It seems like you are saying we are losing animal and plant species because we are eating them.

The structure of your essay is good. You made a reasonable attempt to answer the question. I don't think your examples were very clear or practical. You have a few grammatical mistakes and at least one sentence, I wasn't sure exactly what you want to say.

I don't know what you mean by "create herbals".

I would estimate you would get a 6 for this essay. Keep trying though, the best way to improve is by practicing.