The Witcher fanfiction

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lonelylinguist

New member
Oct 12, 2021
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Hi all!

I've found this forum and I've been wondering if you could revise a short story I wrote. It is about The Witcher, but more like an alternative ending. The story has around three pages so if anyone would like to help, I send you a link to Google Disk.

Thank you in advance,

Polish girl, Renata
 

lonelylinguist

New member
Oct 12, 2021
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Once upon a time in Avalon


The last thing Ciri remembered was the deaths of Geralt and Yennefer. She never thought their story could end this way. Geralt, her foster father, the Witcher, the White Wolf, a man with milk white hair. And Yennefer, beautiful Yennefer, a sorceress with curly, raven black hair and purple eyes, Geralt's love of life and a woman whom Ciri, despite her initial hostility, show a sincere affection for. How could Geralt have died this way… Not him, for God’s sake… Anyone, but not the Witcher… A three-pronged pitchfork? Death at the hands of an ordinary peasant? How could she have let this happen?

This was the last time the girl used her powers. She wanted to save Geralt and Yennefer, prevent their deaths and repulse the disturbed crowd of Rivia. By the strength of her will, straining for calmness, Ciri carried her adoptive parents to the land of eternal spring, a fertile land where peace reigns and man lives to the fullest… Ciri opened her eyes and realized that Geralt was fine! He was only slightly wounded and Yennefer was kneeling at his side, changing his dressing.

However, something seemed wrong… The silhouettes of Geralt and Yennefer began to recede and Ciri noticed that some invisible force was driving her out of Avalon. So, after initial optimism, Ciri, the Lion Cub of Cintra, realized that the price to be paid to their happiness was that she would never see Geralt or Yennefer again. Her parents will live together in Avalon, that’s for sure, but Ciri had to go. To forget. To forgive them and herself…

Ciri had done her best to stop the time, to stay in this wonderful land with her loved ones, but in the end she had to admit to herself that her efforts would not bring any results. At some point, when she was already very far away and Geralt and Yennefer became only a tiny dot on the horizon, it got dark. The girl was not afraid, oh no, she was brave and resourceful. They had trained her properly in Kaer Morhen and yet, deep down, she felt an overwhelming emptiness. She couldn’t know what awaited her or where her fate would take her.
 

lonelylinguist

New member
Oct 12, 2021
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Lost in thought, Ciri did not even hear someone calling her name. She only turned when she felt an unfamiliar hand touch her shoulder. She jumped back, as if she'd burned herself, and looked straight into the eyes of Galahad, King Arthur's knight. From what he had told her so far, he was only nineteen years old, but had already been through a lot. Ciri could not deny that she liked the boy. There was something special about him, something that attracted her. She didn't know what it was, but she wanted to be close to Galahad. Somewhere in the back of her head she felt that he would become someone important to her.

- Lady of the Lake, are you crying?

- No, Galahad, something's in my eye.

- Are you sure? What happened to you?

- Haven't you seen it?

- No, I was looking for you everywhere and suddenly you appeared here, next to me!

- How is that? And Geralt? And Yennefer?

- Lady, they died back in Rivia...

- Be quiet! You're lying through your teeth!

- You were there, you saw it with your own eyes!

- No, you don't understand... I took them to Avalon.

- To Avalon?! How?

- I don't know, I strained my mind and it worked. They were healthy and happy, but I had to leave them, that was the price I had to pay....

Ciri took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She couldn't blame Galahad, he was not at fault. Even she didn't quite understand what really happened. The girl remembered that in Rivia she had taken the hand of her parents and then suddenly they found themselves in Avalon, a land that no one could get to. However, the Lion Cub of Cintra had the ability to move through time and space, so maybe she shouldn’t be that surprised after all. She just used her powers.

- Galahad, I transferred from Rivia to Avalon and then from Avalon here... Wait… But where are we?

- Lady of the Lake, we're in Cadbury. I know we've talked about this before, but do you still wish to come with me to Camelot, to King Arthur, my lord?

- Of course... Forgive me, Galahad, for my behavior. I didn't mean to snap at you, you didn't do anything wrong. I just... I don't know what's going on. I would like to believe that Geralt and Yennefer are still alive and I'm pretty sure they are in Avalon, but on the other hand... Maybe it was just a dream? An ardent desire for them to be safe and sound together? What if I really made it all up?

- Listen to me carefully. I was not there, I was not a witness to it. All I know is that you are suddenly back with me. But if there's one thing I am sure of, believe me - if you feel it actually happened, then I am sure it did. Your parents are happy now. Avalon is a land where sorrow or regret does not exist.
 

lonelylinguist

New member
Oct 12, 2021
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Ciri looked at Galahad with tears in her eyes, then took his hand and said it was about time to go to Avalon. She had already learned from the knight that King Arthur was looking for daredevils who would follow him in search of the Holy Grail. Unfortunately, things were not going well in the kingdom because Lancelot, the king's most faithful warrior and friend, had betrayed him by getting involved with Ginevra, the king's beloved. They escaped together so, driven by a vengeance, King Arthur decided to find the infidels and punish them. Ciri wanted to combine business with pleasure and kill two birds with one stone - to find Lancelot and Ginevra, and, by the way, the mysterious goblet that the ruler desired. Nevertheless, she knew it would be hard to gain the king's trust, though she had been quietly counting on Galahad to show verbal dexterity and convince the monarch to her.

Ciri and Galahad set out on their way to the castle, briskly discussing their common future and whether they would settle down somewhere along the way. Galahad dreamed of a bunch of children, but Ciri was not convinced about it. Of course, she knew that she and the knight were in love, but no words had yet been uttered to reassure her that Galahad was serious about her. The Lion Cub of Cintra wanted a stable relationship in which all parties were equal. She couldn't imagine staying home to take care of the children while her lover was fighting monsters or looking for traitors.

Suddenly, as if on cue, Ciri was distracted by the appearance of a strange creature on their way. It was fat and short, it looked like a spider and it had tongs instead of hands. The girl did not know what this monster was, as it seemed that the creatures in Cadbury were very different from the well-known witcher universe. Before she could even draw the scabbard sword, Galahad leapt to the monster and knocked it to the ground with a single blow. Green liquid, most likely blood, poured out of the creature and an extremely unpleasant smell of rotten egg began to rise around them.

- What was that?

- Crab spider, a dull and disgusting creature.

- You're not gonna sell its body?

- For what purpose? There are no witchers here, no too many wizards, no one needs a decaying corpse of monsters…

Ciri fell silent, but decided to search the creature for something valuable... Oh, luckily she did it! It turned out that the monster had a bag hanging on its back, in which there was a piece of parchment. The girl opened it with trembling hands and read the following words: “Beloved, I know where the Grail is. Go to Canterbury, I will be waiting for you at sunset at the local market. Travel in disguise and do not talk to anyone, I’m begging you. King Arthur's knights are already looking for us, so we must hurry up to be the first ones. Fortunately, we are far ahead that we know where to look for the most precious treasure that will surely change our lives and allow us to assume power. Take care of yourself, beloved, and see you soon. Your L.”.

Ciri looked at Galahad, who was finishing reading the letter bent over her shoulder.

- Is that what I think it is?

- Yes, Ciri, this is a letter from Lancelot to Ginevra. They know where the Grail is hidden and they intend to find it so that they can reign absolutely...

- So… What shall we do now that we know the truth? Perhaps we should inform the King so that he can gather the forces and come with the relief?

- There is no time for that, we have to deal with it ourselves. We know where Ginevra is heading, so if we go now, we will reach Canterbury before her.

- And then what?

- We will prepare an ambush and find the traitors ourselves. We will imprison and then transport them back to the castle, where they will be condemned, most likely to death.

Ciri looked at Galahad and felt the adrenaline rush through her. She was a fighter, she wanted to help those who counted on her. The girl knew she would not hesitate too long and would eventually follow her knight to meet their destiny. Here was her new home and it should be guarded precisely by her. If the Lion Cub of Cintra ever had a chance to return to Avalon to visit Geralt and Yennefer, she would certainly do so, but for now she had to live in the present. She sheathed the weapon and then looked at Galahad with a smile. She knew that a new stage of her life was about to begin…
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
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Thanks for sharing. It is very well written. Not my favorite genre but I think you write well.

What are you looking to revise specifically?
 

lonelylinguist

New member
Oct 12, 2021
5
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1
Thanks for sharing. It is very well written. Not my favorite genre but I think you write well.

What are you looking to revise specifically?
Hi,

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words! More than anything I care about the grammar, I'm just worried it has no sense sometimes, like you're reading and think 'wait, what's wrong with the sentence's construction'. And besides, anything else that stands out.