Some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time with working. Others believe that dedicating one's

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Dang

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Aug 31, 2021
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Some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more important.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


It is a common belief that working should be dedicated more times instead of devoting time to family activities.
However , labour efficiency of a person could be affected because of heavy workload . Because of that , reason people shoot spending time for families
It is understandable why some people might assume that spending time for working is so much more worth why devoting to family activities . Nowadays, people only focus on working for money to maintain their lives and to improve themselves to higher level . People start working early in the morning and finish it late at night , work for 24 hours and even more , especially people in the age group of 20 to 30 . This process helped them a lot in taking care of career and family . They can earn a huge amount of money because of their hard-working
However , dedicating time to work may to stress out . People take the initiative in all work is good but they definitely feel stressful and anxiety . Moreover , working for 24/7 may leads to weariness and decrease in labor productivity. Therefore , dedicating all time to work is not necessary and people should spending their time to enjoying leisure activities with family .
In contrast spending time for family activities is so much more worse than spending time for working . People need to rest so that they can recharge energy to focus on their work . Deadfall family is so important sometimes. People can share their feelings to their parents are played board games to heal with family . Parents will always be by your side when you have trouble with work and you feel tired about it .Studies have shown that family activities can make you healthier such as hide and seek all singing together . Especially these days resting is so difficult for people with tight schedules so everyone should cherist the rest time with family while they can
What it comes down to is that people should spending more time for family instead of devoting all time to focus on work
 
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englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
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It is a common belief that working should be dedicated more times instead of devoting time to family activities.(1) However , labour efficiency of a person could be affected because of heavy workload . Because of that , reason people shoot spending time for families.(2)

It is understandable why some people might assume that spending time for working is so much more worthwhile why than devoting their time to family activities. Nowadays, people only focus on working for money to maintain their lives and to improve themselves to higher level. People start working early in the morning and finish it late at night, working for 24 hours and even more, especially people in the age group of 20 to 30. This process helps them a lot in taking care of their career and family . They can earn a huge amount of money because of their hard-working.

However, dedicating time to work, may to cause extra stress out. People take the initiative in all work is good but they definitely feel stressful and anxiety. Moreover , working for 24/7 may leads to weariness and decrease in labor productivity. Therefore, dedicating all time to work is not necessary and people should spending their time to enjoying leisure activities with their family.

In contrast spending time for family activities is so much more worse than spending time for working . People need to rest so that they can recharge energy to focus on their work . Deadfall family is so important sometimes. People can share their feelings to their parents are played board games to heal with family . Parents will always be by your side when you have trouble with work and you feel tired about it .Studies have shown that family activities can make you healthier such as hide and seek all singing together . Especially these days resting is so difficult for people with tight schedules so everyone should cherist the rest time with family while they can
What it comes down to is that people should spending more time for family instead of devoting all time to focus on work

Feedback

(1) I would say something like:

In some countries work is more important for many people, than spending time with their family.

(2) This sentence needs a rewrite. It is not clear what you want to say here.

You need to work on structure more. Your ideas are not clear and you have a tendency to repeat yourself.

Try practicing your writing in the Chit-chat section of the forum.
 
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