Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

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Dang

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Aug 31, 2021
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Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a common belief that it is a good chance for college students to start business while in school
However, there is a more persuasive arguments that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits . This is because of the lack of experience and knowledge in business , which can lead to the distraction in learning
On the one hand people realize the importance of starting business early . This helps young people gain more experience and gives them the opportunity to put their ideas into real practice . That’s why a lots of colleges and universities encourage students to enjoy their business programs . This business programs , which contain a lots of special offers in each lesson , accidentally attracted student’s families.For example , there are some programs that allow students to research about technologies and how should it be used in business . From that point they can put their ideas in practice and show them the things that they have done . After that the prizes will be given to those who deserve it . That’s why many families accept their children to participate in such programs , So that they can gain experience and confident
Nevertheless, I am the opinion of that students should only focus on their studying to protect their future in a safe zone without mishaps . Knowledge is always important and it plays an important role in every single profession . Experience may also important as well but if students don’t have enough knowledge and valuable lessons they will go in the wrong direction and fall down soon . Student only focus on studying to reduce stress and anxiety from external problems such as business. Because they are young they don’t have to feel too pressured with business early . They don’t have to think about great problem such as this too much. Student may choose it as a target to study and improve knowledge. There are a lots of examples about people who trained theirselves so hard to achieve success today such as Jack Ma , one of the biggest billionaires
To sum up , while there are some advantages encouraging students to start business as a part of their studies clearly there are more disadvantages to starting business early
 
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englishgeek

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Sep 23, 2020
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It is a common belief that it is a good chance for college students to start a business while in school. However, there is a more persuasive arguments that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits . This is because of the lack of experience and knowledge in business , which can lead to the distraction in learning. (Try to make it clear where the paragraphs are in your essay. It is important to see the structure)

On the one hand, people realize the importance of starting a business early . This helps young people gain more experience and gives them the opportunity to put their ideas into real practice . That is why a lots of many colleges and universities encourage students to enjoy their business programs. These business programs , which contain a lots of special offers in each lesson, accidentally attracted student’s families.(1) For example , there are some programs that allow students to research about technologies and how they should it be used in business . From that point they can put their ideas in practice and show them the things that they have done . After that the prizes will be given to those who deserve it. That is why many families accept their children to participate in such programs, so that they can gain experience and confidence.

Nevertheless, I am the opinion of that students should only focus on their studying to protect their future in a safe zone without mishaps. Knowledge is always important and it plays an important role in every single profession . Experience may also be important as well but if students do not have enough knowledge and valuable lessons they will go in the wrong direction and fall down soon. Student only focus on studying to reduce stress and anxiety from external problems such as business. Because Since they are young they do not have to feel too pressured with business early . They do not have to think about great problem such as this too much. Student may choose it as a target to study and improve knowledge. There are a lots of examples about people who trained themselves so hard to achieve success today such as Jack Ma, one of the biggest most famous billionaires(2).

To sum up, while there are some advantages encouraging students to start a business as a part of their studies, clearly there are more disadvantages to starting a business too early.

(1) I don't know what you mean by this sentence. Please try to explain.

(2) I wouldn't use 'biggest' with billionaire, since billionaire a quantitative amount.
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
574
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What about post layout and content, what do you think?

Try to format your essay correctly, so I know where your paragraphs start and finish.

Make sure you use correct punctuation.

Your arguments for encouraging students to start businesses while they are at school are not clear to me.

It is not clear why you used Jack Ma as an example. Do you use this for or against the topic?

Perhaps Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and The Google Founders are all famous for starting companies while they were studying at university. Perhaps they would have been better examples to support your argument.

As far as I know Jack Ma graduated from university, then worked as a lecturer, and only later started an internet company. So using him as an example, doesn't really help to support is disprove your argument.

Does this help? If you have any more questions let me know.
 
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