Review of blog article related to wine industry

Welcome to EnglishForum.com!
Are you ready to improve your English? Sign up free today!
Sign up

lepouvoir

New member
Jun 5, 2021
5
0
1
Hello,

I was assigned to write an article related to ERP wine software (that helps wineries manage their business). Could someone please review the text's sentence structure, word choice, etc.?
!

.
 
Last edited:

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
527
105
43
I don't think this is great writing "Would you like to know more or do you still have doubts about this statement? The rest of this article is sure to surprise you! "

Perhaps you could say "Read on to learn how an ERP could help improve the bottom line in your business".

I wouldn't say "scrupulous accounting". Perhaps "accurate or efficient accounting"

I wouldn't say " novices in the business world". Your audience clearly aren't novices.
 

lepouvoir

New member
Jun 5, 2021
5
0
1
I don't think this is great writing "Would you like to know more or do you still have doubts about this statement? The rest of this article is sure to surprise you! "

Perhaps you could say "Read on to learn how an ERP could help improve the bottom line in your business".

I wouldn't say "scrupulous accounting". Perhaps "accurate or efficient accounting"

I wouldn't say " novices in the business world". Your audience clearly aren't novices.
OK, thank you very much for the suggestions.

In English, is "formidable" an adjective that can be used to describe software features? As in the sentence, "ERP software offers features that are as formidable as they are essential." ? I wasn't sure.
 

englishgeek

Active member
Sep 23, 2020
527
105
43
ERP software offers features that are as formidable as they are essential. -> This doesn't sound natural.

Look at the definition of formidable:

causing you to have fear or respect for something or someone because that thing or person is large, powerful, or difficult.


For example: He is a formidable opponent.
 

lepouvoir

New member
Jun 5, 2021
5
0
1
ERP software offers features that are as formidable as they are essential. -> This doesn't sound natural.

Look at the definition of formidable:

causing you to have fear or respect for something or someone because that thing or person is large, powerful, or difficult.

For example: He is a formidable opponent.
That's how I felt as well, and I am not an anglophone. Would you happen to have a suggestion for a more appropriate adjective, given the context?