Writing task 2: People today prefer to get advice for medical problems

Question

The increase in Internet development enhances most individuals broaden them horizons in health issues. Accordingly, people turn into getting online opinions instead of going to the hospitals. This essay will discuss why this trend is happening and the viewpoint that it brings negative aspects more than positive ones.

To commence with, one of the most important reason is high cost for registering with doctor and unnecessary medical tests, taken by the hospitals, evenly minor cases. From that point, most people tend to ask for advice in online for smaller illness for instance cough, headache, flu and the others. It gives convenience to them and save up money from medical examinations. However, this can cause the confusion for people, who do not have enough medical knowledge, and add insult to injury.

In my viewpoint, there is a high risk for patient, when they collect discrete consultation about the symptom and select which medicines they should take. It can cause the unforeseen consequences. It is obvious that doctors are specialized in treatment. They depend on the patient’s symptom to give the advice and suggest medicines according to medical assessment. It prevents patients from making the situation worse. For example, some medicines are not suitable for pregnancy or high risk for alcoholic. If anyone takes without a doctor’s recommendation, it would be harmful for their health system and can cause to death.

In conclusion, there are numerous reasons why the trend of asking advice for medical issues, which is rising. However, owing to these reasons, I believe that it brings drawback more than positive development. Public should aware the consequence of receiving advices online.

Leonah · Accepted Answer

Hi Daniel
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Cristyna · Answer

Hello,
Your question is beyond the scope of this Q&A page. I recommend that you sign up with a Tutor to help you.
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Jennie · Answer

Hi, Daniel! This is a good first draft of an essay. I can see you have an opinion and some support for this opinion.

I suggest revising this essay 2-4 times with a Preply tutor. This will help you think about both language choices and essay development.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

- Your thesis statement isn’t 100% clear to me, but it’s a good beginning. To revise, I suggest adding 2 specific details to your thesis statement: 1 for the main idea of your first body paragraph, and 1 for the main idea of your second body paragraph. Then, make sure the ideas in your conclusion match your introduction. 
- Although you have some good ideas, sometimes your sentence structure or word choice is confusing. For example, the first sentence in your essay (“The increase in Internet development enhances most individuals broaden them horizons in health issues.”) can be revised for clarity. Did you mean: Access to the internet has broadened people’s horizons and given them more information about health issues?

These are some big ideas, and it would be good to work slowly with a Preply tutor on your language and essay skills. You can practice writing various essays with an IELTS or TOEFL specialist. These Preply tutors can help you work on both skill sets at the same time so you’re ready when you need to write an awesome exam essay.

Naeema · Answer

Please discuss with a teacher in your lessons for feedback and writing skill tips.

Writing task 2: People today prefer to get advice for medical problems

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