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Renata
Renata

IELTS Writing Task: governments should invest in theatres and stadiums



Topic- Some people say that government should not put money on building theatres and sport stadium. They should spend more money on healthcare and education. Do you agree or disagree ? In this modern era, it is undeniable that education and healthcare are essential for our life. Therefore some people think that the government should spend money on healthcare and education rather than theatres and sports stadiums. While this approach can be proved beneficial up to some extent, I disagree with the given statement. On the one hand, there is numerous reason why the government should devote equal money to the entertainments sector, the first and foremost is that entertainment is also a basic human need even entertainment sectors encourage creativity and promotes harmony in society one tangible example, people learn about their history, tradition and culture through movies, songs and painting made by the artists. So, artists are the ambassadors of culture and play a vital role in elevating the level of civilization of the country. Secondly, without government funding, some sports and entertainment theatre would not be able to work. For instance, most of the stadiums and theatres depend on government funds because there is no visible source of income, therefore most of the entertainment sector depends on government aid. Furthermore, sports stadiums attract millions of spectators to watch matches every year. Many more millions watch games on television, read about them in the newspaper and discuss them with their friends. Consequently, we can not say these are unnecessary expenditures and therefore government not ignore them. On the other hand, it often believes that the government should allocate more sense to the education and the healthcare sector. Admittedly, I will agree with the given statement generally in the unprivileged country, where the people's first priority to get food and basic necessities. I believe that in these places the government should focus more on healthcare and education compare to entertainment. In conclusion, while medicine and education are needs that we recognize, theatrical or sports events are also basic needs. Therefore the government should allocate resources for both these things.

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4 Answers

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Cristyna
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Leonah
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Hi Renata Your question is beyond the scope of this “Questions and Answers” page. For comprehensive explanations, book some lessons to benefit more. Tutors are happy and are there to show you how to do, but not do the work for you. Sign up with me and I'll prepare you for IELTS and assess your writing. https://preply.com/en/tutor/90551/ Best Regards

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Jennie
Jennie
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Hello, Renata! You have a nice first draft of this essay, which makes some good points and shows off some good connective language.

I suggest revising what you have while considering these ideas:

  • At the end of your second body paragraph, you shift your stance and recognize that, in underprivileged areas, it may be more important to spend money on healthcare and education. Toward the end of your essay, this feels like an abrupt shift in perspective. You could make a couple different choices: (1) simply remove this perspective to keep consistency in your arguments, or (2) embrace this perspective and create a more subtle argument that recognizes different actions might be appropriate in different contexts. I’d suggest trying both to see which feels more natural to you.
  • Continue to review verb agreement and general sentence structures. There are a few places where your word/form choice stands out as not natural or expected, such as ‘there is numerous reason’ and ‘it often believes….’

These are both subtle details and basic structure points that a Preply tutor could guide you through. I’d suggest setting up some focused essay revision and writing sessions with a focus on exam skills. You’ll find many qualified Preply tutors who are happy to help you.

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Naeema
Naeema
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Please discuss with a teacher in your lessons for feedback and writing skill tips.

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