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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: agree/ disagree (part 5)

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Keva

New member
Jan 12, 2021
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There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

In human history, people have discovered many inventions from fire or the wheel in ancient era to complex machinery in this day and age. Although these facilities have given many benefits to society, it is believed that the Internet is the most significant thing no matter what. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I hold a strong belief that this statement is an exaggeration irrespective of the advantages of the Internet.

There are some compelling reasons for the importance of the Internet in this civilized and modernized society. Firstly, in this digital era, the Internet allows people to approach the latest news around the world or search for information fast and conveniently. Secondly, the Internet, as an important mean of communication, helps people get in touch with their friends easily through social networks such as Facebook, Instagram and so on. Last but not least, student could acquire knowledge easily by attending various online courses on the Internet without going to many extra classes, which helps them save money to improve their lives.

In spite of the aforementioned benefits of the Internet, I firmly believe that there are even more valuable inventions. One of the most necessary ones is electricity, which plays an important role in daily life seeing that no electronic device as well as the Internet works without electricity. What is more, mobile phone, an indispensable item to most people in today’s ever-changing world, creates opportunities for many to connect with those living far away by calling instead of face-to-face interaction as their relationships are improved and strengthened day by day.

To sum up, while the potential benefits of the Internet make it seemed like the most significant invention, I am of the opinion that there are more inventions which is also essential nowadays such as electricity or mobile phone.
 

alexanderfinn

New member
Feb 16, 2021
11
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In human history, people have discovered many inventions from fire or the wheel in ancient era to complex machinery in this day and age. Although these facilities have given many benefits to society, it is believed that the Internet is the most significant thing no matter what. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I hold a strong belief that this statement is an exaggeration irrespective of the advantages of the Internet.

A good word to start with would be 'Throughout' it is common when you describe a theme that runs through history.

A discovery and an invention are two different things. You cannot dicover an invention, so try

either

'People have invented many things......'

or

'People have dicovered many things'

In fact the wheel was invented, but what about fire? It wasn't dicovered or invented.

Can I suggest: 'Throughout human history there have been many inventions, such as the wheel, and many steps forward, such as learning to control fire.' ?

They are not facilities. Maybe 'tools' is better.

'It is believed......' Who believes this? Try 'Some people believe that.....'

'no matter what' seems out of place. Maybe 'some people believe that the internet is the most significant of all .'

I would also replace 'this statement' with 'it'.
 
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