Cambridge Book 10 Test 1 Writing Task 1 - Can you please evaluate this writing

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Nov 10, 2021
The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The first pie chart provides information about energy usage in an average Australian household. The following chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which come from this energy use.

Energy is used mainly for house heating and water heating, with 42% and 30% respectively. Other devices which consume energy are working with electricity use rest of the amount with 15%. Refrigeration is following after other gadgets with 7%. However, the energy which is used for cooling and lighting is fairly less, with 2% and 4%.

The highest proportion of green gas emission in an average Australian house is water heating with almost a third. Other appliances consumption has 28% gas releasing. House heating and refrigeration have similar percentages of greenhouse gas emissions with 15%. However, the gas emissions which are by cooling and lighting have the lowest numbers with only 3% and 8% respectively.

Overall, it can be seen that in both charts, water heating has a significant impact for energy use and greenhouse gas emission.
(165 words)

Hello, can you please evaluate this writing? And if you give an estimated band score I'd be so happy. I am gonna take the IELTS test next month I am curious how many bands score this kind of writing can get?